Wow, so many things have happened since school has started! I don’t even think I’ve updated since school has started! So many wonderful things have happened and I couldn’t be more blessed! Anyways, here’s your update for today! It’ll probably be my last post for awhile—until Thanksgiving break. I’m so ridiculously busy with school & work!
1. They’re playing love songs on the radio. I can’t relate to that now. See, my life has its ups and downs, its high points and low points, and right now, I need some excitement. I might even need you.
2. She says she doesn’t believe in love, how could she at this age? Do you really want to know what you want for the rest of your life at eighteen?
3. I live somewhere between hope and fear- hope that this time it could be different and fear that it will turn out like it has before.
4. I will never understand how you can smile all day long, but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change, but the people in them do. How you can love so innocently, but it can turn into anger so quickly. How your best friend can become your worst enemy. Or when your worst enemy turns into your best friend. How forever turns into just a few short months that you’d do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn’t live without. How even though you know letting go of something is best for you, it just hurts the same. How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises, and bear their souls to someone, despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives, ‘cause it’s easier than just working things out.
5. I am just so sick and tired of this. I want to be alright without you. I want to be able to go a month, a week, an hour without thinking of you. All I wonder is why is it that you don’t care anymore. I am just so sick and tired of needing you in my life knowing that you only make me sad.
6. I think that the problem is that I’m stuck waiting for him to do something, to make a move, to say the perfect thing. And the problem is, that I shouldn’t be that girl, the one who sits and waits for him. I should be independent. I should think clearly and consistently without having my mind jump straight back to him. Yeah, falling for someone is the hardest thing to do. And the stupid thing is the thing standing in my way is fear of losing him, the fear of rejection, the fear that I might lose a friend that means everything to me. I want to be everything to him, but I’m not. I’m not the kind of girl he needs, and I’ll never be that girl.
7. I needed to know that I meant something, anything to you. But what I got was nothing. Absolutely nothing. And it’s funny the things you realize when someone walks away. At first, you feel as though it’s your fault. Feeling like nothing, so close to falling apart. And then, in time, you come to the realization that you did nothing wrong. That it’s his loss, that you are so much better than the boy who didn’t ever care. You live and learn, and that’s how it is.
8. No on has the right to tell you who you are and control you life, because it’s yours. Your life is meant to be lived by no one other than yourself. We sometimes let people get the best of us, destroy us, and change our opinion on what we believe is true. Only you know what’s right for yourself, you have the power, you make the choices, and you learn. Each experience that we go through in life is a lesson to be learned. We all make mistakes. Why is that so hard for some to understand? No one should be judged by the mistakes that they have made. It’s past news. Everything happens for a reason, and without the hard times, how would we ever realize our true strength? It is only through a time of suffering when we realize how strong we truly are on the inside, when we realize how much we can actually put up with and deal with before we eventually break.
9. Do you ever wonder if you’re staring at someone with a broken heart?
10. Have you ever wondered about the things we tell ourselves before we fall asleep? We whisper the words in the dark, telling ourselves that we’re happy, or that he’s happy, that people will change their minds. We persuade ourselves that we can live without the people who left. Each night before we fall asleep, we lie to ourselves in a desperate hope that, come morning, it will all be true.
11. I’m tired with all the “let’s play with her emotions” crap. Either you love me, or you don’t. And I’m not going to sit here and wait while you take your sweet time.
12. I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think. I’ve learned that either you control your attitude, or it controls you. I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with the types of experiences you’ve had, and what you’ve learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated. I’ve learned that quantity is not as impotant as quality when it comes to best friends. I’ve learned that it isn’t enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself. I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world will not stop for your grief. I’ve learned that background and circumstances might have influenced who you are, but we are responsible for who we become. I’ve learned that you can’t make someone love you, all you can do is let yourself be someone who can be loved. I’ve learned that the word “love” can have many meanings; it loses value when overly used. I’ve learned that no matter how old or wise you think you are, life never stops teaching.
13. You know what? This is what I go by: it doesn’t matter how good looking a guy is, it just depends on his personality. If a guy can make you laugh and make fun of you, then that’s what would win me over. So, yeah.
14. I’ve discovered as I’ve grown up that life is far more complicated than you think it is when you’re a kid. It just isn’t a straightforward fairytale.
15. I’m moving on. No more waiting. No more hurt. If you wanted me, you could’ve had me, but you didn’t. You blew your chances. Now, I hope you’re happy living your life wondering “what if you took your chances with me?” ‘Cause, I’m no longer here. I’m no longer waiting.
16. Love is not the way it is in the movies, and it’s not some idealistic, huge, fantastic thing. It’s very real and personal, and not what we’re taught in society at all.
17. Some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, withot knowing what is going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity…
18. I don’t know if I want to do it anymore, get close to somebody so that they can leave again.
19. The truth of the matter is, what’s done is done. No excuses are necessary. You can’t go back and change anything, so there’s no point in being stuck in the past. Excuses never work; you’re only lying to yourself and lying to yourself never helps anything. Eventually, all the lies and the excuses and the alibis fall away, and you’re left here, stripped, with the truth before your very eyes. whether you’re ready to accept it or not.
20. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, but to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11