Life is A Beautiful Struggle

     

{one.}

 I’ll screw up. I’ll push you away if we’re getting too close. I won’t trust you until you’ve proven yourself. I get hurt easily and take a lot of things personally. But I’ll love you with everything I have, and if that isn’t enough, then I’m not enough.

     

{two.}

  It’s the way he makes you smile. How every joke he tells you is hilarious. How he can annoy you one second, and make you feel like someone special the next. The way he says your name makes you get through life. You start catching yourself looking his way more often, hoping he’s looking at you too. Then you start getting nervous whenever you talk to him. His instant messages become more meaningful to you, even if you can’t remember what he was talking about, or if anything was important at all. That you were too busy choosing what outfit to wear when you saw him, or whether he’d notice at all. You see his face everywhere, not just at school, and you think about him more and more each day. Suddenly, the pieces start making sense and you realize- you really are in love.

       

{three.}

 I hope you know that you were once one of the most important people in my life, for a very long time. You were the guy I thought about while listening to all those songs, the guy who made me actually look forward to waking up in the morning. You were the guy who could make or break me. Who had my heart, but never bothered to do anything about it.

                     

{four.}

 I wanna tell you how I feel, but I’m scared. Scared of being hurt again. Scared of you not feeling the same way. Scared of falling harder. You understand me. You make me smile. Really smile. I never thought I’d like you the way I do. I had to stop myself before, but now I’m not strong enough to do that anymore.

       

{five.}

 He turned around and looked right at me and said nothing. Not even hi. It was as if the months we spent together, the time I spent thinking about him, just weren’t important, as if they never happened. You changed so much. I guess that’s what happens. I wish you knew how much you changed me. I wonder if I’ve changed you, if your life is different because of me. You taught me so much, and now we don’t even talk to each other. I guess that’s what happens.

            

{six.}

 I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you second chances. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hand; you need to be able to throw some things back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day, you should just reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

          

{seven.}

 I can’t think of a single reason why I shouldn’t be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose- there are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it’s more than a game, and you either take that step forward, or turn around and walk away. I could quit. But here’s the thing: I love playing the field.

                   

{eight.} 

 We are all looking for answers. In medicine, in life, in everything. Sometimes, all the answers we were looking for were hiding just below the surface. Other times, we find answers when we didn’t realize that we were asking a question. Sometimes, the answers can catch us completely by surprise. And sometimes, even when we find the answer that we were looking for, we’re still left with a helluva lot of questions

         

{nine.}

 I hope that someday, you’ll find all my quotes, all my words, and read them all.

           

{ten.}

 I think we all deserve better. I think that boys need to make up their minds, figure out what they want. If they want us, they’re going to have to fight for us, because we’re going to find someone so much better than them, someone that actually deserves us, someone makes us look at them and go “what the hell was I thinking?”

{eleven.}

If you really knew me, you’d realize I’m not the girl I was before. I’ve been hurt, walked all over, and rejected. I still have hope for new relationships, but if you really knew me, you’d know I’m scared to death of falling in love again. I’m scared to death of getting hurt. I’m scared to death of getting attached and thrown to the side. Please don’t do that to me. If you really knew me, you’d know I trust you.

        

{twelve.}

 There is a difference between who we love, who we settle for, and who we were meant for.

          

{thirteen.}

 I love you. I love you not just because you’re adorable or because you’re sweet, or because you’re my best friend. I love you because you make me step outside myself and look at who I really am. You make me want to be a better person, just because you are who you are. I can yell you absolutely everything and I know you will always listen.

                  

{fourteen.}

 No matter what your relationship status is, everyone has someone in the world they’d marry if they were asked today.

          

{fifteen.}

 For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want to be with someone you can’t get out of your head. So that when your lips finally touch, you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can’t cheat your first kiss. Trust me. You don’t want to. Because when you find that right person for a first kiss, it’s everything. ~Grey’s Anatomy

                  

{sixteen.}

 I don’t think having a boyfriend or girlfriend completes you, or is the only thing that can make you happy. Sure, they’ll make you smile till your jaw aches, laugh until you cry, but I’ve always believed that you have to be happy on your own before you can be happy with someone else.

                 

{seventeen.}

 Because in first grade, we found out the key to boys. If he likes you, he’ll make fun of you and be mean. And then five years later, we’ll keep believing that. Or at least I still do. Because I once got proof, that although two people act as though they hate each other, they can still be in love, be in love with each other.

      

{eighteen.}

 Love is when you find someone you can really be yourself with. That you can share anything with, like a best friend. It’s when you can’t even imagine what your life would be like without that person. When words don’t even come close to how you really feel, and even though it doesn’t make sense to other people, you know you’re meant to be together.

               

{nineteen.}

 If the world ended today, would you be proud of yourself?

        

{twenty.}

 Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Who do you see looking back? Is it the person you want to be? Or the person people want you to be?